On June 1, 1978, I found that the umbilical cord in my mother’s womb had wrapped around my neck, making it impossible for me to breathe. I wasn’t born yet, and already someone was trying to kill me (my mother, in this case). Thankfully, I was rescued by a frantic group of altruistic doctors. To this day, my mother denies that she was trying to murder me in the womb. She has an alternate theory, which is that I was attempting to hang myself. Whatever the case, based on the crafty work of the doctors and the brilliant theories of someone named Caesarean, it was clear that the world preferred me to live.
It was the kindest the world has ever been to me. 32 years later, things make no more sense than they did in that hospital room. But unlike that day – when I was overwhelmed by the bright lights and clothed people – I currently have a vague notion that if I try very hard, I can possibly make sense of things. After years of therapy didn’t help much, I’ve decided that blogging is perhaps the best solution. There is no real intended audience for the Topicless Bar – these are just my observations put down in little black words for all the world to see.
The idea is simply to write something every day. If nothing interesting happens or I can’t think of anything, I’ll just make something up. This blog is about freedom. It’s like the Operation Iraqi Freedom of blogs, only nobody gets hurt or has facial hair. And there’s no oil involved. Hopefully that’s a good analogy. As you can probably guess, I didn’t do too great on that part of the SATs.
In short, the Topicless Bar is just a place for a middle-aged, cynical, love-torn American living in South Korea to express his thoughts and share his adventures. It’s also a place where he occasionally talks in third-person.
Geez, this “About” section is getting bloated! Let’s move away before it bursts!
– William Panara