Jar of Cats

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What would someone have to say to completely turn you off?

In my life, I’ve dated a pretty wide variety of girls, but none of them have been major outliers when it came to having decent ethics.  I’ve never dated a racist, a bigot, an ageist, an anti-Semite, a beer snob, a xenophobe, an obnoxious atheist, or someone who thought Katie Perry was better than Joni Mitchell.  It’s hard to recall any moments when a girl said something that brought the date to a screeching halt.  To expand on that, where exactly is that line for me?  What exactly would someone have to say to make me want to get up and end the relationship, right there, on the spot?

On moral grounds, I mean.  As opposed to obvious deal-breakers like “I forgot to mention I have six kids,” or “Guess what!  Turns out we’re cousins!”

These questions grew in importance recently after I had a rough Skype conversation with a young lady I met in Seoul.  Her name was Sarah and she was originally from the Philippines.  We’d met at a club and exchanged contact information and I was definitely interested in pursuing something.  For weeks Sarah and I would have long Skype conversations every night.  Then one evening, we got to talking about our childhoods.  Sarah asked me to tell her a story about my childhood, and I told her an innocuous little anecdote about something silly that happened in the 2nd grade.

“Now you tell me a story,” I said.  And with that, Sarah unleashed this show-stopper:

“This is really bad,” she said.  “Frogs.  I was in the 2nd grade then.  It was lunch break and my sister and I went home.  I smelled a foul smell down in our basement, so I went down and checked.  To my surprise, I saw a dead bloated frog beside a water barrel.  I did not know what got into my brain.  I called my sister and ordered her to take a knife with her.  Being an obedient sister, she stormed off and took a kitchen knife.

“So I was there, pretending I was a surgeon doing a sensitive surgery on a frog’s bloated belly.  Could not slice it that much coz the skin was already dry – been dead for days maybe.  And our nanny caught us and called dad immediately.  He was too particular about cleanliness and all, so he could not take what he saw.”

Okay, so her story hit me a little off guard.  But it’s not that bad – she was a young kid and she cut open a dead frog.  A little strange?  Yes.  Worrying?  Perhaps.  A deal breaker?  No – people have done worse things.

Take the rest of the conversation, for instance.

I responded to the frog story by saying, “I couldn’t do it.  I’m a little afraid of dead animals.”

“I loved killing animals before,” she said. “Ssshhhh.”

How does one respond to that?  I chose sarcasm, perhaps to mask the shock, and said, “Who doesn’t go through that phase?”

“Like there was a green lizard,” she continued.  “They’re bigger and live in coconut trees.  I caught it and I barbequed it!”

A frog and now a lizard…I was a bit weirded out, but I could deal.  I hoped she was out of stories, though.  Here was this sweet little Filipino girl, one who I wanted to take out pretty badly, and she was turning out to be a torturer of defenseless amphibians and reptiles.  I tried to chalk it up as a cultural difference.  Like how Koreans think it’s okay to eat dogs and Canadians enjoy clubbing seals.

“My sis thought I was disgusting,” she continued, “but we perfectly got along making kittens suffer!”

Fight back kitty!

“Not kittens!” I typed quickly, shouting through the keyboard.  A frog…a lizard…I could turn a blind eye to that.  But I adore cats.  I love petting them and tickling their bellies and keeping them away from crazy Filipino girls.

“My sis and I would grab them by their tails and slam them at the walls,” she typed.  “Sometimes I put them in big cookie jars and watched them fight for their lives.”

It was a horrible image.  A poor kitten stuck in a cookie jar, suffocating.  How could I possibly take this girl out?  What was her idea of a good first date?

“Hey, I was thinking we could get dinner and then shoot some bunnies afterwards.”

This was terrible.  For days I felt deflated.  I had apparently found the line, or at least approached it.  Yeah, this all happened when she was little…but what if I went to her apartment and there was a big empty jar?  How could I know for sure she intended to put cookies in it?

In conclusion, I ended up going out with Sarah once after the crazy animal killin’ conversation.  Apart from that one conversation, she was an amazing person with a warm heart.  In the end, it was distance that caused things to fade out.  I don’t know if that’s a good thing – I feel I should have an ethical line drawn somewhere and I should stick to it.

When I was a little kid and my father told me the pet cat died, that was difficult to understand and accept.  Imagine how I would’ve felt if he told me Mommy killed it.

Santa Cat finds this post jarring.

*

(The Santa Cat photo was taken from the website Dan of the Day.  It can be found here.)

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103 thoughts on “Jar of Cats

    • No, Farce! In fact, I went through a blogging dilemma in regards to, like, people’s privacy because the bulk of this post is pulled straight from the Skype chat. Why would I make this up??? What kind of a sick bastard do you think I am! I’m so offended! (jk love ya!)

  1. oolalang

    Whoa whoa whoa! I call foul on sandwiching beer snobs between anti-semites and xenophobes! We are far more pleasant people! Wine snobs, maybe..

    • Good point! Beer snobs aren’t as bad as wine snobs. I hate when I have friends over and offer to get them wine and they’re like, “How old is it?” and I’m like, “I don’t know. I can’t find a date on the box.” And then they get all uppity about how they buy wine that comes in bottles. Snobs!

      Thanks for the comment oolalang!

  2. I sincerely hope you made up that story! (Big clue: the humor tag) Would you really risk a date with a sick chick? ‘Cause you know that people who enjoy making animals suffer eventually turn to killing humans, right?

    • Seriously, not a single part of it is made up. She’s a really nice girl, actually. I wouldn’t be surprised if she only killed one or two people and then stopped cause she felt bad about it. That’s the kind of heart she has.

      Thanks for the comment! Hope the post didn’t scare the Hello Kitty gravatar. : )

    • Lol. That would be a little creepy, having voodoo dolls in jars. It’s like bad B horror movies where the scientist always has fetuses and stuff kicking around in jars all over the laboratory.

      Thanks for the comment! Beautiful picture of Marilyn there. She was just the best, adore her. : )

  3. Prettylittleraindrops.

    Eh.. think im slightly disturbed reading that! Nooo poor kitty 😦
    well.. i think you should draw the line when someone tells you they enjoy torturing animal? that might be a good idea! But other than that I like your blog! (:

    • Thanks a lot! Yes, I agree with you about the line thing. If a person has the capacity to do that to an animal, think of what that person could do to something that isn’t cute and adorable. Like a human, for example. Scary thoughts.

      Peaces!

    • Does that make me desperate? Really, I kind of feel bad that I wrote this. The girl was incredibly nice and is a great, sweet person. She just doesn’t like animals. Hahaha. Oh God.

      Anyways, thanks for the comment. : )

  4. jishifruit

    LOL. I assure you, it isn’t in our culture to hurt cutie cats or put them in jars. That girl was the exception.. and some other Filipinos with animal issues.
    It was good though that she outgrew it. Some would say that serial killers hurt/kill animals when they were younger. Serial killers aren’t as rampant in our country anyhow. Well I’m going off on a completely different tangent but yeah, love your blog 😀

    • That’s very true – not many murders in Korea, so the “warning signs” don’t really apply I guess. Good point!

      Thanks so much for the comment and the compliment. I love your picture!

      • jishifruit

        Well, I hope I can say not many murders in the Philippines as well. Maybe one day. 😀

        Why, thank you! 🙂

    • Funny you should say that, cause when I read back through the Skype chat, I thought that was such an odd response for me to have. It’s pretty good, though, kinda proud of myself. Anyways, thanks for the comment Year Challenge!

  5. OMG. The cat lover that I am cringed over this unfolding story. But me thinks she was just trying to shock you…get a feel for how you deal with the unexpected. She was probably pretty bummed that distance finally had its way with you two.

  6. Exodus

    first of all, i adore cats as well. i know there are people who hate cats and would do anything to make them suffer. my friend’s brother, for instance, kicks them every time he sees one. he even put a kitten outside and let it die frozen in the coldest winter day when he was in Russia. smashing cats into the wall or stuffing them into cookie jars is, however, something i have never heard of or imagined before.

    secondly, i think i can understand why you still went on a date with her after that. i would like to meet her myself as well, because a) i would like to talk face to face to the lovely psycho i would do anything to keep cats away from (keep your friends close and your enemies closer – or something like that, they say), and b) i would like to know what made a person find interest in torturing defenseless animals. others may not agree, but i think she’s an interesting…ummm… case.

    last but not least, i like your blog. i clicked the Follow button at the top of the screen. there is no difference between that one and the other, i assume. it’s just faster and more convenient because it’s always there for me to click whenever i want to follow any blogs.

    keep on being humour! 😉

    • Dang! Your friend’s brother sounds like a cold dude. Yeah, she’s an interesting girl and she has a unique perspective on things. I don’t think she’d hurt anything now, seems very kind. Definitely an interesting case.

      Hey, thanks a ton for following! Really appreciated!

  7. the picture with the cat in the jar is appalling seriously but I’m assuming its photo shopped? :p I really like your style of writing, gave me a perspective about blogging which I thought didn’t exist. and o yeah people with weird issues like torturing animals should be told off! or if you have the patience make them understand patiently and intellectually.

  8. What a story!
    I, unlike many, am not surprised you gave her a chance though. To me it is like the hunters from here in Oklahoma. They get giddy about hooking an eight inch bass. They think themselves heroes for chasing down a snake and smashing it’s head in. They go into WAY too much detail and are far too excited telling you about killing Bambi and Thumper… and how yummy they are in the stew you just stopped eating. Ehhh.
    From my point of view it is as you said, cultural difference. I mean what else would there have been for a girl her size to actively hunt and kill in her childhood home place?!
    Look forward to reading more of your stories…

  9. That’s a really interesting perspective. Yeah, nobody would freeze up over a boy who gutted a fish or something. Maybe not totally the same thing, but in the same ballpark.

    Poor kitten.

    Anyways, thank you for all the comments! I checked out your blog briefly and will go back to read more in depth. One thing, though – is that a Dallas Cowboy tattoo on your shoulder? As a lifelong Buffalo Bills fan, that’s painful!

    • HECK NO! I despise the Cowboys lol! It is actually the top stars of the constellation Orion. I have an “underdog taste” in football according to my husband’s point of view. I have been an avid NY Jets fan since I was young.

      Definitely not the same… Poor KittenS :/

      Thanks for checking TFOH out! It is a bit much to sort through since it is a modpodge of my artistic abilities and thoughts rolled into one. I think the Menu Categories do it’s best to separate and control them! Hope you enjoy as much I have been entertained by yours!

      • Jets…sigh…my Bills didn’t do so well with them this year.

        Yes! Like I said earlier, I’ve only had a chance to quickly glance at it – mostly just looked at the photos. I will acknowledge the words ASAP!

        Really do appreciate the comments, my friend. : )

  10. What the hell? That is disturbing. But still, fascinating. It’s okay that she did that as a kid, I guess, but definitely strange that she’s still excited by the stories.

    • Yeah, those might be best filed under “Stories from my Childhood I will Never, Ever Tell Anyone.” God I hope she doesn’t read this! I keep checking my yahoo for a nasty message, which I would deserve. Great girl, really great girl.

  11. Gina

    I can’t believe you went out with her after hearing that awful story! As a pet owner myself (four cats, a dog and a pet rat) I would have went off on her during the conversation, informed her of what a sicko she is, and then told her to never contact me again. She has absolutely no heart whatsoever if she enjoys torturing animals. That’s a serious medical condition that she needs to have checked out. If THAT’S the story she decided to part with to you, imagine what she’s holding back! weirdo.

    • Haha – In her defense, I think she realized that she freaked me out because she sent me a message the next day apologizing and explaining that those were bad things she did as a kid that she would never do again. So, I’ll accept that.

      How do you like having a pet rat? I’ve thought about getting one myself but am a little afraid of them. Do you feel I’d get less afraid over time if I actually bought one?

      Thanks for the comment, Gina!

      • Gina

        I really enjoy having rats as pets. They’re intelligent, curious, and easy to care for. I’m actually taking in one this evening, as a friend can no longer care for him, so that will make two rats. So long as your rat is used to being handled and your hands are very clean, you shouldn’t get bit.

        Take care!

  12. I came across your blog through freshly pressed…

    So I suppose congratulations are in order for finding a potential sociopath. Animal killing as a child is one of the big read flags for psychopathy. It would have been an interesting experiment to study her and what other odd items she might have said.

    I too fear the kitten killing. I mean…kittens…

    • Yeah, kittens. Kill something less cute, like maybe a human baby. (That’s not funny – poor taste joke.)

      She really didn’t say anything else too weird. I found it interesting she joined the military when she got other and found that to be something she had a great interest in. I suppose one could psychoanalyze that a bit.

      Thanks for the comment. I like your gravatar picture. It reminds me a bit of Roland Topor’s drawings. : )

      • Dennis Leary has made some similar jokes which always amuse me – like how an otter gets all sorts of use awws because it can do cute human things with it’s flippers, while a cow is just a baseball glove and some nice shoes.

        Actually the military is full of that type of pro-social behavior. It’s a good outlet for that sort of violent behavior tendencies. A group of researchers at my uni are doing a study on that but they’re looking for psychopathic traits in cops. You also see it in some very high-profile, highly competitive businesses. The type of person who doesn’t care about others and just does whatever to advance themselves.

        Thanks for the compliment. I can’t remember where I found it now but I liked the symbolism behind censorship and self-censorship.

  13. Okay, let me give you a lesson on Psycho Killers 101:
    Exhibit A: Psycho Killers are the least suspecting of people. They are typically nice people. They wave to their neighbors in the morning; they pick up litter on the street; they might even find themselves singing along to a Justin Bieber song and actually enjoy it.
    Exhibit B: Psycho Killers start their careers of psycho killing by first experimenting with animals. They especially love watching them suffer.

    That’s all I got for now on our lesson.

    I think we can conclude that we might see Sarah on the news sometime soon for psycho killing someone. If she was wearing an ear hoodie, however, that would just piss me off.

    • Haha – “Police Search for The Ear Hoodie Killer Continues.” That could make a dope episode of CSI or something.

      Maybe time also is a factor here. I grew up in the early ’80s, and I definitely remember having friends who would do bad things to stray cats and other little animals. Granted, I don’t remember anyone killing anything in front of me, but I do remember a boy strangling a cat. I don’t know…is it possible that was less frowned upon thirty years ago? Just thinking out loud.

      Thanks for the comment and the psycho killer lesson! : )

      • I, too, grew up in the 80s and the only thing I remember was the fact that some kids liked to burn ants with a magnifying glass. And that concludes my experience with killing animals. I thought I should be feeling superior but why am I only feeling sheltered now? I’m gonna give it to the next cat I see…

  14. I’m stuck between “Holy Crap!” and laughter, trying to wrap my mind around her sister being appaled by the frog and lizard yet gung ho about the little kitten.
    o.O
    I have to say it’s a good thing you only had that one date, as odd as it is you persued her still, because yes toruring little animals at a young age is a sign of a Serial Killer/Sociopath… You could have ended up her special friend she pokes with a stick in her basement. ;P

    Thanks for sharing! And by the by the picture is hilarious! (Myself being a cat person.)

    • What if she reads this blog, flips out, and slaughters me??? I hope people have found it funny, ’cause this could be the end. Goodbye cruel world!

      Seriously, she’s a great girl and not a serial killer. Very warm heart and she was extremely nice to me. Like I said in the post, if she didn’t live so far away, I would have continued to pursue her. Everyone has a skeleton in his/her closet. Hers just happens to be a kittens.

      Great girl, really! Thanks for the comment, Pariah!

  15. LOL… that was fun hahaha… So you really went out with her huh? I’m surprised she didn’t cut you up after she kissed you trying to find out whether you were a frog or a prince hahahah…

    Gonna give you something gross about cats. I’m a Filipina and I used to live within the suburbs of Manila where some beggars would live on a 3x4x4 wooden pushcarts and all of their life belongings are there and its a family of five. We’ll everything you can imagine about being poor and smelly and whatevers… you get the picture?

    Anyways, in one of my commutes to school where I need to walk a distance from these group of people, seeing them in their condition, trying to disensitize myself from the hopelessness of it all (bec if I allowed myself to be affected I wont be able to get to school on time.. and.. we’ll chances, fate, etc…everything chains up from there, right?) I saw them taking care of cats and feeding them. Imagine, inspite of their scarcity they still found it in themselves to feed a dozen cats. I can see almost three that were tied to the pushcart really cute and fluffy.

    But imagine to my horror more when I turned a corner and not also far from the pushcart, the father (I suppose) was barbequeing a carcass of what looked like a big enough cat! That was the reason why they were taking care of the cats, they cooked them for thier meals! OMG! After that day, I can never look at another cute cat the same way again

    We’ll I guess they get to eat three solid meals a day.. 🙂

    • Holy shit! Hahaha! I was about to say that your story was so heartwarming, beautiful, etc. And then came the twist. Cat BBQ. I’m staying away from the street food in Manila!

      Thanks for sharing this. You know, because my post wasn’t disturbing enough. hahaha. Seriously, loved it! : )

  16. Yodia25

    I almost burst in tears when you told that she put the cat in a big jar of cookies and pulled its tail then slammed it to the wall. I feel like… *exhales*
    For me who really loves cat feel bad about them…

    By the way, you have a great way for telling stories… I learn a lot from you..
    thanks..

    • Yeah, I see a picture of a cat right on the top of your blog. Pretend I made the whole thing up! No cats were harmed in the writing of this blog post.

      Thanks so much for the compliment. I see you’re from Indonesia. That’s another place on my “can’t wait to go there” list. I look forward to exploring your blog and learning things myself. : )

      • Yodia25

        whoa… never expect something like that…
        One place beside Bali in Indonesia you should visit is Bandung.
        There’re some hidden parts where you can see the whole city on the highest hill, when you camp there… you’ll see sun rise tries to wake you up with thousands of colors welcoming the new day.

        About my blog, I just started here…
        And will update a new post after all my assignments are done…
        I have a lot of things to be told of hidden places in Bumi Serpong Damai, Serpong, Indonesia where you can see sunset or sun rise. 😉

        Looking forward for the interesting posts from you..
        I just like the way you write… nice plot and writing style.. see ya soon

    • Thanks so much! I’m gonna check into this board thing – kind of a novice in terms of how everything works. I would like to see what’s there and, of course, try to get in on that! Anyways, thanks again for the lovely compliment. I see that you’re from North Carolina – I lived in Charlotte five years before coming to Korea. Take care!

  17. Caprice Cake

    You wrote “apparent” where I think you meant “apartment.” ^-^

    That’s an awful sort of phase for a child to pass through! I wonder if she still possesses some of that morbid curiosity.

    Ha. Curiosity. Kills cats… |:

    • Thanks Caprice! Good catch – I totally glossed over that typo and am grateful you alerted me because things like that drive me nuts! It is now corrected.

      I suppose it was only a matter of time before a “curiosity killed the cat” reference. Well done! : )

  18. Baker Bettie

    Just found your blog today and have read about 5 posts. My husband has been asking me what I’m laughing at for the last 30 minutes. It’s your blog. You have a great sense of humor. Thanks for lifting my spirits! Can’t wait to read more.

    • That’s really sweet of you to write that. Thanks so much Baker Bettie. I love that name, it’s alliterative and gives me a nice sort of image of the ’50s for some reason. Love it. Anyways, thanks for the compliment – it lifted my spirits. : )

  19. Disturbia… But you know, it’s sort of an Asian thing. Of course there are people here who adore animals, but overall population doesn’t really place that much value onto their lives. It’s not like with us where we have laws against animal cruelty. I thought China was worst that way, but Philippines may just take the top spot now. Sad that nobody here thinks it’s important to teach people that animals have rights too.

    But overall, you’ve got a great way with words!

    • Thanks! They like their Hello Kitty a lot, but a lot of Korean people I talk to tell me they think cats are evil. It’s pretty funny actually. They like dogs a lot, and it’s actually pretty rare to run across a dog restaurant here. Seems like that’s fading out.

      Thanks for the comment and the compliment, alterismus!

      • Oh, that is so good to hear! I thought eating dogs was still a common thing with Koreans, good to know that’s changing. It has to be made illegal. Period.

  20. I could not date someone that did that. I love cats, too, and I’d be afraid they’d hurt them. Yeah, the frog thing I could overlook. It was dead. But, the other stories were disturbing. I had to skim over them.
    I like that picture with the frog. Hee hee.

    • So…why you hate frogs so much? You can overlook the story, liked the picture with the frog…you’re a frog hater. What’s up with the frog hating?

      Haha – I dunno! Poor kitty. I’m pleasantly baffled by your name and picture. Thanks for the comment! : )

  21. After telling a guy once about a scarf I thought he would love (yes, I know, but he had shown an inexplicable interest in fashion (unlike you), so I thought it would be of interest to him, plus I was kinda running out of conversation), he replied, “Is it a winter scarf, or more mid-season?”.

    That was it for me. Lovely guy, but I couldn’t take him seriously after that.

    Great post, scary and funny. Cats in jars indeed. I don’t think I’ve ever heard those two words in the same sentence. Bravo.

    • Thanks! Love the story. For me, killing animals is a minor turn-off…for you, having too much scarf knowledge is a deal breaker. But let’s face it, the scarf comment is obviously more alarming than anything about the cats.

      Appreciate the comment, Denise. : )

  22. EEK! I would definitely not go out with someone who told me they tortured small animals for fun as a child.

    Although, that may have more to do with the fact that boys that torture animals when they’re children are more likely to be serial killers.

    • No way. Children can get away with insects and amphibians, but I would never date someone who tortured cats like that! Cats visibly show suffering, so it can’t be rationalized harmless fun. Someone who not only did that but tells people–and therefore doesn’t see the real problem with it–is a sociopath.

      Run, don’t walk, in the other direction.

      • Lol! I repeat, she’s a nice, sweet woman. Our conversations were always good and colorful, and I had fun on our one date.

        Then again, I’m a human, so maybe I didn’t get to see the dark side.

        Thanks for the comments!

  23. I will acknowledge that I’m mildy infatuated with these fluffy little mammals, but you missed a major dealbreaker, man! The first thing I ever learned in Filipino was a song about an old man confused over whether to eat his black dog or goat first. It’s cultural.

    • That song sounds great! What a dilemma. I would probably eat the goat. The dog would be more fun to play with. I mean, if I ate the dog, what the hell am I gonna do? Spend all day trying to play with a goat? Not appealing.

      Thanks for the comment, brother!

  24. shadowsmith10

    As someone who likes cats (plus all sorts of furred, scaled and leathery critters) I was really horrified by this story. And I think the most horrific part for me was her apparent “niceness”. I sincerely hope she was bullshitting you about the animal murders just to seem like a more interesting person. Brrr.

    I’m going to have to thank you if I get Stepford Wives meets Psycho nightmares tonight.

    • Oh, you’re welcome! Always happy to cause nightmares. My ex-girlfriends always complained about having nightmares after we had broken up that we were still together. Scary!

      Yeah, she WAS really nice. Maybe a person can be nice and all and still have a weird darker side. Or maybe she grew out of it. I dunno!

      Thank you for taking the time to comment, Shadow!

  25. Hi Will,

    Are you vegetarian? If you are such a pet lover, and dislike harming animals, I suggest you become a vegetarian or a vegan. I often hear people feeling pity for the death of animals but what I don’t understand is why there’s only speech and no action. Shouldn’t we do something about it?

    • Hey Bing! I’m not that great of a person, sorry. I love eating meat and, honestly, don’t really feel bad about the animals. It’s a character flaw I guess. I think it’s great that you’re a vegetarian and so passionate about it! I couldn’t do it. I’m starving to death on a day-to-day basis so I need to eat whatever I can get my hands on.

      It’s a great cause, and I think you’re a more wonderful person than I. Thanks for reading and commenting. : )

  26. I’d never thought of it before, but that would be a major line for me, too. I love cats dearly. I could deal with the dead frog (I greatly enjoyed cutting things up in my high school biology class, so who am I to judge?), but doing something to an alive animal and to a cat noless wouldn’t go over well.

    Great story. 🙂

    • Yeah, it’s pretty brutal. When I worked at Tops Friendly Market, I had to steam the lobsters once. I felt kind of bad about it. Poor lobsters. If I am ever told to do that again, I’m going to paint them bright red and tell them to be still and not move. Then when someone buys them, they can make a run for it. I feel that’s a solid plan.

      Thanks for the comment, Crunchy!

  27. This blog had a little of everything, I laughed, I cried, I was scared I worried over your safety & the safety of all kitties everywhere, I wondered why I laughed maybe I have a little bit of kitty killer in me although I doubt it ever since I watched Dexter’s laborotory & a boy killed a spider & then all of its spiders friends came and spidernapped him i daren’t even kill a spider (it could happen I’ve seen Arachnophobia!)

    • I wouldn’t want to be spidernapped. That would suck. On the other hand, I really like otters and would love to be otternapped, although if I have to kill one for that to happen, I don’t think I could do it. Just thought I’d share that.

      Thanks so much for the compliment and the comment. Really appreciate it, Jellie! : )

  28. Holy sweet mother of pearl! To paraphrase the great Walter Sobchak: Skyping pre-first date? That is not Nam – there are rules!

    I’m going to go home and cuddle my kitty like a cuddling thing! Between this and reading about the drunk dude in Halifax that murdered his girlfriends cat (while the neighbors called the police) I feel as though I’ve filled my daily DONOTWANT quota. In the meantime, please excuse me – I’ll just be in the corner rocking myself, whispering “why yes, yes you can has cheezburger.”

    • Mmm…cheeseburger.

      That happened in Halifax cause those people are drunken degenerates. His girlfriend probably took one too many humanities classes at Dalhousie and made life hell for him by talking his ear off about philosophy. And he took it out on the cat.

      Haha – I’m sorry for that. I love my Halifax friends – they the coolest! I kid the Halifaxians! Terrible story about the cat.

      Thanks for taking the time to comment, Ethel. Now go snuggle those cats of yours!

    • The power of vagina…it’s like you women are all superheroes. You don’t need invisibility or super strength or X-ray vision or any of that. You all have the power of vagina. Amazing.

      Hey, I’m a forgiving guy! She was a nice, cool person. I’m sure you’ve gone on dates with worse. Actually, I hope you haven’t. Stay safe, NCMN!

  29. Anna

    Wow! All I can say is wow! That story shook me a bit.
    But I guess you’re brave for going out with her anyways – not knowing if she has big cookie jars or bbq’s at home waiting for you!

    • Haha! I could’ve been bbq’d!!! Nah, not enough meat on my bones.

      Yeah – I said it before (I think) and I’ll say it again – I’d go out with her again if she lived closer. Lovely girl. Actually, all things considered, I much better person than I.

      Thanks for taking the time to comment, Anna. : )

  30. Nope. Pretty sure I would have signed out of Skype the moment ‘kitchen knife’ and ‘dead frog’ was uttered in the same breath. But surely at dinner thoughts of jarred kittens were running like mad through your head ?! Either way, I loved this post, as well as all your others, I have been reading for a while and haven’t even notice the time fly!

    • Sup Felicia? During dinner we talked mostly about movies and cinematography. I mean, I’m sure a lot of people have weird stuff they don’t share…maybe I should’ve appreciated how open she was. Cool cool chica.

      Well thanks for checking my blog out, and thanks for leaving the comment! You rule, Simply Feli!

  31. Well, with the humor you provided me based on that story, I’d have to say you must be a pretty awesome person. Which is why I am exceptionally happy that you DID NOT continue dating this person. Take it from a psychology major…hurting animals = bad juju! I don’t know the exact stats but it’s something like 85% of all serial killers spent time abusing and killing animals before they moved on to people. Looks like this chick was moving up the totem pole with all sorts of ambition..poor kitties 😦

    • Actually…I should’ve updated…we decided to rekindle things and we’re completely in love…how DARE you say these things about her!

      Just kidding. If it’s possible to grow out of something like that, I think she did. Very nice adult woman. Thanks for the concerns though! Next time I try to pick up a girl, I’m gonna be like, “Hey, what’s your name? Can I buy you a drink? How do you feel about cats? Answer the third question first.”

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