Plastic Bag O’ Coins vs. The Everyday Pocket: A Discussion for the Progressive Male Thinker

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Spare change has been beating me for ages. You know that phrase, the one that goes “Fool me once, shame on your; fool me twice, shame on me”? Well, shame shame shame on me ‘cause spare change has been fooling me for at least 15 years. In a nutshell, the pattern goes like this:

  1. Purchase item with bill/paper money.
  2. Place coin change in pocket of jeans.
  3. Remove jeans at end of hard day/early evening if Sunday and weather is hot.
  4. Forget to take coins out of pocket of jeans.
  5. Put new pair of jeans on the following morning.
  6. Go to store. Reach into pocket to get change, realize that change is in pocket of jeans from previous day. Curse.
  7. Later, when doing laundry, take change out of jeans pocket.
  8. Place change on desk shelf, where tons of other change sits. Never touch or bother with change again.

Seriously, I’ve amassed so much change over time, I might qualify for the Bush Tax Cut if I ever bothered to count it all. I’ve considered this change problem to be one of life’s necessary evils, or so it seemed until I was in the store the other day and saw a $50 Tommy Hilfiger wallet that changed my thinking.

“Holy crap,” I said, dumbfounded (don’t worry, I was with someone else and was not talking to myself about Tommy Hilfiger wallets like a damn crazy person). “This wallet has a little change pocket inside of it. The pocket’s got a button on it and everything. This is genius! Why don’t all wallets have a change pocket?”

And why don’t they? Women don’t have change problems, because they lug around big purses and can place the change inside, next to their compacts, cell phones, handguns, pet rocks, photo albums, and whatever else women carry with them. But for men, we have to rely on remembering to take the change out of our pockets, and that’s just asking too much. I quickly tried to calculate, in my head (I don’t carry a purse, hence no calculator handy), if buying the $50 wallet would be a good investment, as the coin pocket feature would surely lead to more frugal use of change. I eventually decided it wasn’t worth it, because $50 is like 10 billion coins.

The wheels in the head were turning, though. Proper coin management quickly became a priority. I considered buying a cheap change purse, but then thought, “Why buy a change purse when I can just carry around a plastic sandwich bag with me? It’s essentially the same thing.” This was a good point. I mean, I’m not a man of pride, I don’t need to have some fancy coin purse to show off when I pay for stuff. Things like that matter to rich people, I guess. Not to me.

“What about inventing a fancy cloth sandwich bag?” My entrepreneurial mind was at work. “I bet a rich kid would feel much more comfortable if, instead of having his sandwich in a plastic bag or one of those sandwich cases, he had a nice, hand sewn purse to hold his turkey sandwich.”

I quickly pushed the thought of hand sewn sandwich bags aside. It was a distraction from the coin problem. For the past few days, I’ve been going with the Plastic Bag O’ Coins and it’s been working brilliantly. Still, there seems to be greater alternatives out there.

Thus I propose this: What if the jean companies got together and started making jeans with only one pocket? Hear me out. The other pocket would be what I like to call “The Everyday Pocket,” a detachable device that can be transferred from one pair of jeans to another. That way, I can take the pocket full of change from one day and attach it to the jeans I wear the next day. It would work wonders! I mean, it might take some time to train men not to put their change in the other pocket – the non-Everyday Pocket one – but eventually guys would get the idea (2-3 years, perhaps) and unused spare change would be a thing of the past!

For now, Plastic Bag O’ Coins it is. In the future, one can only hope The Everyday Pocket becomes a reality. Only then could a responsible father have 5 dimes on him, readily available, to pay for his $10.50 hand sewn sandwich bag.

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24 thoughts on “Plastic Bag O’ Coins vs. The Everyday Pocket: A Discussion for the Progressive Male Thinker

  1. No change in the wallet! I can’t imagine sitting on that all day!

    I’ve never had this “too much money” problem.

    At the end of each day, I empty my pockets (try it!) and put any change that I’ve accumulated into a huge jar on my dresser and start the next day without coins. When the jar is full, I bring it to the bank (or a machine at the grocery store) where they count it and I feel rich for a day.

    • Sup Diatribes! Pulled this outta the old spam folder. Why WordPress thinkin’ you’re spam? You been spammin’ people, Diatribes?? haha

      Anyways, about the jar idea, it’s good in theory, but I feel like I’d never take the jar to the bank. If for no other reason, that’s got to be one heavy jar by the time it’s full. I’m not a He-Man over here…lifting the jar might be a bit too intimidating for me. Or, conversely, maybe I could use the jar to exercise with. I could bench press it and build my chest muscles. Brilliant!

      Ok, I will stop now. Good to hear from you, D & O!

  2. The “everyday pocket”! Lol, as funny as this is, I think it is a doable thing. Maybe you should approach someone like the inventors group they talk about on TV and patent your idea. You would have 20y down the road to see someone who has used your original idea and created something extra original with it… just saying.

    • Hi Judith! Listen, nothing would make me happier than having to sue someone for stealing my idea. I could say, “Look! I wrote a blog about this twenty years ago!” Then I get rich and I don’t even have to do any of the work. It’s far preferable!

      Hope you’re doing well girl! Have a great weekend. : )

  3. Personally, I have a chipmunk money bank pig thing. It is missing a cheek, which my overzealous puppy dog gnawed off. There is something sadistically pleasing about stuffing coins into a chipmunks stomach and shaking it til it jingle-jangles, and its tail swings back and forth like a grand father clock.

    The annoying thing I find with coin purse things is the zip opens at the most inconvenient of times….

    • Let me get this right: a chipmunk money bank pig? That’s missing a cheek? So it’s a hybrid of chipmunk and pig and money bank? Sylvia, we must be cut from the same cloth, because I would kill for one of those. That is fabulous and excellent and I hope you get rid of that puppy before he does any more harm to it. : )

      • It is also purple with pink troll-hair (you remember those plastic trolls with the bright shocks of soft hair?) and one aquamarine and one lavender ear. It is awesome!

      • Are you sure that’s what it looks like, and you’re not just in the middle of a bad trip? No, really, it sounds amazing. You should be damn proud to own something like that.

  4. i’m a girl and i only use a purse when i absolutely have to so change on the jean pocket for me too. but i do have a jar where i stash coins when i have too many. better half bought me a wallet when i accidentally washed my id and some bills after i forgot to remove them from my jeans pocket. i guess he thought if he gave me one i’ll use it more often. still, i try to put everything on my pocket just ‘cause carrying a purse is sometimes too tiresome, no scratch that it’s just an excuse lifelong habits are hard to break :P

    • Haha. Hey Isabella! You should get the boyfriend to carry the purse for you. Really, propose that idea just to see what he says. He’ll probably start stuttering and stammering, “Um, er, uh, I love you…um, but, er, I don’t think I can, uh, do that.” Then again, maybe putting one’s better half in an uncomfortable position for laughs is not good relationship advise.

      Peace Isabella!

      • it’s not a bad idea at all and trust me i’ve done it before :) i used the line ‘why don’t you try it for a change to see how it is’. better half is as stubborn as i am when he’s trying to make a point so just to prove it’s nothing he did carry it one time. he looked very cute but so miserable and since i’m inclined on mischief just to get back at him i made him carry it for an hour or two before taking it back. :D
        happy weekend bill!

  5. Topicless, I’m going to Claires and getting your a change purse. Your choices are whale, owl, penguin, or a pug. I didn’t think you’d be interested in Justin Bieber or Hello Kitty. ;)

    • LOL! Thanks Impy! If I were to really choose from those options, I think I’d have to go with the owl. Or, just to be sarcastic and ironic, Justin Bieber. Actually, I would most enjoy it if they came up with a new line called Hello Bieber, which would portray him with the psychedelic pink Hello Kitty style. Man, I’m just full of bright ideas this week!

  6. Oh, just buy a cheap coin purse, for crying out loud, topicless, ha ha ha

    Oh, come to think of it, I used a plastic sandwich bag for my Euro coins… I forgot my coin purse and I didn’t have time to rummage through my big purse for coins while we were on tight schedule/

  7. Jen

    Funny, all my ex boyfriends had this same accumulation-of-coins-on-the-counter problem, until I came into the picture! The vending machine at work and my belly were never happier!

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