I Smell Danger! And It Comes From the Classic Rock Station!
What the hell is going on in America? Living outside of the country, I have to imagine that things are better than them seem to be. I mean, for most people it’s probably the same old routine, no noticeable difference. Viewing the country from afar, though, I’ve found myself shaking my head in bewilderment lately. A six year old is put in handcuffs after she has a tantrum and the school calls the police? A 14 year old gets tased when she’s up against the cop car with her hands up? Mitt Romney is seriously running for president and there are real people planning to vote for him?
It’s enough to make my head spin. Of course the Tayvon Martin case is the worst of the bunch. Without even getting into the guilt or innocence of George Zimmerman, at the very least, on a wider level, the case has made a celebrity out of the “Stand Your Ground” law, the existence of which makes Americans further seem like crazy, gun-tottin’ cowboys. I had a conversation with a friend from South Africa Friday night, and was really surprised to learn that in South Africa, a police officer is not allowed to use his gun unless fired upon first. Just compare those two mindsets. In Florida, a person can legally shoot someone on the street (speaking theoretically, not about Zimmerman) because he’s ‘reasonably threatened,’ whatever that means. Yet in South Africa a police officer can’t discharge his weapon unless someone has already shot a bullet at him.
Have you seen the crime stats for South Africa? They aren’t too good. And yet, do they have the “Stand Your Ground” law? Nope. Not even close. If they did, I’m sure it would be total chaos. It makes me wonder what is going through the minds of my country’s people. Why do they seem to think everyone is out to get them?
Maybe it’s because our government really seems out to get people sometimes. Or, more specifically, out to get the Motorcity Mad Man, Ted Nugent. I read today that Nugent has had a concert cancelled in Fort Knox after making some zany, typically outlandish (for him) comments about Obama. Who canceled the concert? The US Military. Yes, that’s right, it’s for the safety of the American people that we do not let Ted Nugent and his “violent rhetoric” open up for REO Speedwagon in Kentucky. Having REO Speedwagon even vaguely involved in a threat to the President is beyond hilarious. I feel the messages of both acts should balance everything out. True, Nugent said he’d be ‘dead or in jail’ if Obama is re-elected, but let’s not forget that REO said “I’m gonna keep on loving you/Cause it’s the only thing I wanna do.”
I’ve seen REO Speedwagon in concert. You know what their concerts lead to? Not violence. Yawning. Lots and lots of yawning and feelings of sadness that the Styx set is over.
On one last note, I don’t encourage the Military to try and get any information out of REO. ”Mr. President, we were able to get details on a possible assassination attempt. We obtained this information from REO Speedwagon. It seems they heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend who, heard it from another…”
My message is simple: People of America, chill out. No one is out to get you, and Ted Nugent isn’t really going to kill the President. And, even if he did, it would be kind of awesome. If that does happen, I would apologize to the US Military for accusing them of overreacting, and then encourage them to make sure Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull hasn’t said anything bad about Joe Biden at some right wing flute convention.