Broken Internet Report, Straight From the Masterbatorium
Ever since I moved to Seoul, I’ve been stealing my Internet from the good people at Samsung. There’s a Samsung building by me and their WiFi is about as available as Hipster Trish after four cocktails. The whole stolen Internet thing is working out great, but once in awhile it cuts out, as has been the case this weekend. Right now I’m sitting in the “Joy PC Cafe” across the street from me. I’m in a room with about one hundred Asian kids playing videogames. On the walls, there are sayings like “Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward in the same direction,” or “Love creates an us without destroying a me.” There are pictures of half-naked Korean girls here and there. I’ve been to the Joy PC Cafe before and was a little hesitant to go in, as I feared there was some seedy business going on. I asked Leah why it’s called a “joy” cafe and why there are pictures of girls in underwear. She said, “They have room with Kleenex for masterbation.” Oh, swell!
Well, due to my broken Internet, I’ve been unable to post my upcoming rant on how it’s embarrassing to be American (something to look forward to). Instead I’ll post this quickly and continue to look around and try to spot the masterbation room. Not because I want to use it, but because I want to see someone slink out of it in shame.
There’s nothing in the world as humiliating as being in the Joy PC Cafe masterbatorium and realizing, all too late, that they’re out of Kleenex.